Kenapa gatal sangat?

Yana kenapa gatal sangat? itu lah soalan yang paling membunuh jiwa. Aku tak tahu macam mana nak mendefinisikan perkataan "gatal" itu sendiri. Mungkin aku yang salah. Mungkin perbuatan aku yang menampakkan aku "gedik" "gatal" dimata orang lain. Tapi semalam aku cuma happy dan mungkin terlebih happy. Kenapa yer? Ada ke orang yang nak tanya kenapa happy sangat ni? Kadang-kadang happy tu cuma luaran tapi dalaman tak pernah orang mempersoalkan.. yang orang tahu hanyalah membuat spekulasi sendiri. Tapi aku tak kisahlah.. aku hidup dengan cara aku. Kita pun bukannya lalui jalan hidup yang sama. Aku pun nak berterima kasih pada orang yang bertanya, disebabkan soalan tersebut membuatkan airmata aku gugur. GUGUR? haha.. tapi sungguh berlinangan dengan sebab yang beribu. Disebabkan soalan itu jugalah aku menitiskan airmata di depan Tuhan yang Esa. Tak perlu untuk orang tahu apa yang aku rasa, cukuplah sekadar bergembira depan semua orang. Cukuplah Allah sebagai peneman, Allah sebagai kawan sejati dan cinta abadi. Aku cukup bersyukur kerana Allah sentiasa mendengar setiap isi hati hambaNya. Dan disaat aku berduka, Allah menghantar sesiapa sahaja untuk menghiburkan hati ini. Allah tak pernah tinggalkan aku bersendirian kerana Dia tahu kalau aku bersendirian pastinya aku akan mengingati kisah tidak mahu aku ingat. Terima Kasih, ya Allah. Sungguhlah, Allah mengetahui setiap sesuatu. Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. La Tahzan. 

Jangan bersedih

        La Tahzan, Innallaha Ma'ana. Jangan bersedih kerana Allah bersama kita. Sebelum ni aku pernah post pasal patah hati, sedih yang teramat tapi hari ni hati ni makin sayu dan sedih kerana waktu aku bersedih aku terlupa sesuatu.... Aku lupa yang Allah sentiasa bersama aku. Ketika itu aku memerlukan seseorang untuk beradu kesedihan hati ni tapi sebenarnya Allah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui. Allah sentiasa ingin mendengar hambanya beradu kesedihan kerana kepada-Nya kita bergantung. Aku bukanlah seseorang yang tahu banyak tentang agama kerana sehingga kini aku masih lagi seorang yang jahil. Aku masih belajar tentang ilmu agama. In Sha Allah, semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan dunia dan akhirat ku. 

Dan bila bercakap pasal jodoh pula, ramai yang sedang berusaha keras untuk mencari jodoh mereka sedangkan mereka sedar jodoh itu sudah ditentukan. Begitu juga dengan aku suatu ketika dahulu. Memang betul orang kata, hati ni amatlah bahaya. Jangan biarkan hati ni kosong kerana dari situ lah kita mula mencari sesuatu untuk mengisi kekosongan tersebut. Dengan begitulah iman mula goyah. Astagfirullahalazim..... 

Jika di fikirkan terlalu banyak dosa yang telah aku lakukan. Ramai yang kata aku seorang "playgirl", aku berkawan dengan lelaki, terlalu rapat dengan lelaki, semuanya kerana aku ingin mencari pasangan hidup. Tapi semua lelaki yang aku pernah rapat, pernah kenal, semua pergi meninggalkan aku sehinggakan aku putus asa terhadap lelaki. Sekarang baru aku sedar kenapa mereka bukanlah untuk ku kerana Allah temukan aku dengan orang yang salah sebelum temukan yang betul. Dan melalui orang yang salah, sedikit demi sedikit aku mula mengenal erti cinta dalam islam, cinta selepas berkahwin dan yang paling penting iaitu cinta Allah. Terima kasih Ya Allah. Kini segalanya aku serahkan kepada Allah. Siapa pun jodohku dan dimana dia, aku hanya mendoakan semoga dia seorang insan yang beragama dan mampu membimbing diri ini ke Syurga. 

Dan sesungguhnya, pasti ini pengakhiran yang aku inginkan.... iaitu bertemu dengan yang halal untuk ku. 

p/s : segalanya tentang jodoh. :)

Hilang keyakinan

           

                  I hate the system, when they show the Ielts results to the other. Rasa sangat malu dan rendah diri. I know I'm not good like my other classmates. They really did the best. And I feel discourage. I really need someone to talk to but I don't know who can I trust. I know I'm being negative when I think that some of my friends talk about this behind my back. Who knows? Mungkin betul apa yang aku fikirkan. Sometimes I just feel I want to stay away from other, disappears from people because I feel pressure on me. I feel shame. I feel stupid. I'm useless. Aku seorang yang mudah hilang semangat. Sekali jatuh susah untuk aku bangkit kembali. Kadang aku terasa nak jadi macam orang lain. 

I feel depressed. 

I'm waiting.

Once again, a story about him... Why I still post about him? Some people might think and wonder what is special about this guy, who can make me always remember about him. I know too much love and hope could be dangerous because we don't know what will happen next. No one knows. Indeed, I just love his characters. He knows me very well. He's generous. He take care of me when I was sick, he brought me foods and medicine to make sure that I'm being fine. And I still remember that moment, it was during Ramadhan, it was the first time in my life I saw someone wore Baju Melayu that amaze me. I have seen so many Malaysians people wear Baju Melayu but not like this one, it's hard to say. It just amazing. He just looks different when he wear Baju Melayu... when he wear "kain pelikat".. He is different from other. He is such a wonderful person I have ever met and I wish I know more about him. ^_^

A poem from him.... 

it was night and you made me feel like a knight

i saw your smile in a crowded spot

it captivated my heart

little that i knew,she's going to keep my heart

lucky star is her name

and she deserves all the love and fame

life became better with her

hopefully forever only me and her

p/s : waiting for you to come back to me is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But, I will keep waiting. Hope for the best for us.

We are Hero

                                                                     "Hero"

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

[Chorus:]
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

[Chorus]

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

[Chorus]

p/s : I just want to share one of my favourite song. Be strong no matter what happen. ^_^ 

What should I do?

         Last night I meet him with one intention. I don't want to feel hurt and I don't want to hurt him so I decide not to contact each other anymore. I was thinking maybe last night would be the last time I meet him. I wanted to tell him about this. Suddenly.... unexpected things happened, it was not happened like I planned. Everything change when he starts to make me laugh and we talk like nothing happened. Really unexpected. When he said "I'm sorry 'coz I hurt you", I think I fall for him again. I really love this guy. 

p/s : Hope everything will be fine. ^_^

Read Very Carefully

I find out about this few weeks ago through Facebook. Alhamdulillah, I did remove all my pictures. To all Muslims people, especially man, please read... And please do so. 

"Brothers, your wife (or wives) / sister might be extremely beautiful but do NOT post pictures of her online for the world to see. If you are someone who has the ability then you should remove her pictures off her profile or at least strongly advise her (if she is your sister etc). 

The one who who allows his women to openly show their adornments or one who has no protective jealousy over his womenfolk is a dayooth. This carries serious punishments in Islam:

The Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said "Three (types of) people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.” (Ahmad)

Ibn al-Qayyim, rahimahullaah, said, “And the dayyooth (the man with no jealousy over the woman and his family) is the most vile of Allah’s creation, and Junnah is forbidden for him, (because of his lack of Gharyah-jealousy). A man should be “jealous” with regard to his wife’s honor and standing. He should defend her whenever she is slandered or spoken ill of behind her back. Actually, this is a right of every Muslim in general but a right of the spouse specifically. He should also be jealous in not allowing other men to look at his wife or speak with her in a manner which is not appropriate.

Sisters, do NOT marry such a man. Are you happy to marry a man who will not enter jannah? Are you happy to marry a man who will parade you around like an object or some sort of trophy for the world to see? No doubt you deserve better, so when considering someone for marriage, make sure you judge what his level of gheera (protective jealousy) is like, because that is in direct correlation to his level of deen." 

via Abu Ibraheem

p/s: just sharing for our own good... And a cute picture to all girls. ^_*